Ok, so here it is:
What's the point?
Does it matter whether I die now or in 50 years?
Does it matter if I send $5000 to the poorest in the world? Or just spend the money on myself. They're all going to die eventually anyway. Just like me.
What is the purpose of the wealthy westerner? To have cool stuff & experience exotic holidays? To have a job where I can feel like I'm making a difference? To have interesting friends who see the world the same as me so I don't have to ask uncomfortable questions about the way I choose to live my life? To have facebook fights over stupid petty things that don't matter? To have pets or children so I feel like I am needed? To get famous so I can feel loved & valued?
The truth is, some of the time I envy people in third world nations. At least they know why they do what they do. They do what they do to survive.
I do what I do to avoid boredom.
I am on an arduous quest to find meaning & purpose. And I refuse to medicate these uncomfortable questions away with holidays & bigger TVs.
I want truth. I think.
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