It's not like they'd admit it, but all atheists, at some point, wonder if there's a god.
Maybe it's at the birth of their kid, or the death of a loved one. Maybe it's a near death experience, or as they slide towards their inevitable, unavoidable death experience.
No one goes through 80 years without wondering what happens after those 80 years...
They won't talk about it with their atheist friends, because they don't want to seem uneducated. They are frightened of condescending giggling whispers they overhear. They are frightened of disappointing their family and friends. They want to belong.
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It's not like they'd admit it, but all religious folk, at some point, wonder if there's no God.
They all encounter pain and suffering that seem irreconcilable with a loving God. My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
But they won't talk about it with their religious friends, because they don't want other to think their faith is weak. They are frightened of concerned sighs and of disappointing their family and friends. And they are frightened of Hell. They want to belong.
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Because none of us really know. None of us are certain. None of us have sat across a table from God, and none of us were there to see what caused the Big Bang. In truth, were're all agnostics.
It's only through wilful arrogance that we call ourselves atheists.
It's only through blind hope that we call ourselves believers.
We just don't want to admit it.
We want to belong.
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With that in mind, I've recorded a song that tells this story of the agnostic - a seeker who grows up with the voice of God, only to live through the death of that voice.
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